It all started a few weekends ago as I was perusing the latest issue of Dwell magazine. Dwell magazine could easily be misconstrued as the metrosexual’s choice for coffee table reading, but really there’s much more to it than that. There are great stories about people stretching the limits of design in some really interesting ways. Honestly, I know nothing about design, but since my Dad is builder I feel like I have some sort of loose attachment and maybe even understanding of architecture and design. So, I’m flipping through Dwell and reading about these really cool lofts and homes when I suddenly had a vision: a 1957 Ford Ranchero.
The Ford Ranchero holds a very special place in my heart. There’s something magical about the combination of car and truck that is hard to resist. Love it or hate it, you can’t help but recognize its uniqueness in the car or truck world. In a similar, yet less obsessive, way I also really like the Chevy El Camino. However, since the Ranchero was the original car/truck hybrid on the market in 1957, I have a hard time accepting the El Camino as anything more than a cheap rip off. Similar to the way that Chevy ripped of the Mustang with the Camaro and even more recently Chrysler’s PT Cruiser with the Chevy HHR. Anyone else notice a trend here?
Back to my vision. If I remember it correctly I was thinking about my future place would look like. I always envisioned myself living in a big industrial loft that’s wide open with semi modern, yet classic looking furnishings. While reading Dwell and having this vision of a 1957 Ford Ranchero, the two merged together into one and suddenly there was a Ranchero in my loft. Awesome! In my head there’s no more classic or beautiful piece of art than any old 50’s car, but in order to justify it’s place in my pad it’s going to need a purpose, hence Ranchero/Camino Home Accessories. (R/CHA for short)
Purpose #1: Ranchero/Camino Garden
So, you live in a big loft with no yard, but you still want to garden? Let the Ranchero/Camino Garden help! Let R/CHA’s gardening professionals come assess your place and tell you what kind of Ranchero/Camino will fit your gardening needs. We’re going to take the Ranchero or El Camino of your choice and turn it into a one of kind gardening system. By sealing the bed of the car/truck and sodding it with the richest soils you’ll be able to plant whatever kind of plants suit your gardening needs. Do you like corn? Why not! What about okra, black eyed peas or squash? Go for it! Do you want your very own herb garden in the back of a classic 60’s car/truck? Bingo! You tell us what you want and we’ll even have our gardening professionals plant it for you. But wait, what about all the hassle and mess that’s going to come along with watering a garden. Not a problem, our vegetation hydration specialist have specially equipped your Ranchero or El Camino with R/CHA’s patented watering system. We’ve completely gutted the car and restored the outside to showroom quality, but under the hood is a whole new power plant that’s going to give you the power to water your plants with the flip of a switch.Purpose #2: Hot Tub
Are you a hot tub enthusiast who wants more than crappy looking wood and fake marble on their tub? Do you like to party in style? I think we can help you. The hot tub professionals at R/CHA are going to guide your way through the process of converting a classic Ranchero or El Camino into the party barge of your dreams. Choose your car and we’ll custom fit a hot tub in the bed. We’ll set up all the controls under the hood and if you’d like we’ll give you booming sound system, or sauna, for the cab of your ride. Let the professionals at R/CHA combine your love of hot tubbing and hot rodding into the perfect solution for your partying and bathing needs.Purpose #3: Pick-Up Putter
Do you ever find yourself sitting around your bad ass loft wishing you could do a little putting? Great, that’s the first step. Now, have you also been sitting around your bad ass loft thinking, “I really could use a vintage Ranchero or El Camino in here.” Excellent, let’s kill two birds with one stone. For the avid golfer and car enthusiast R/CHA brings you the Special Edition Ranchero/El Camino Pick-Up Putter. Is your short game lacking in golf and you could use a little bit of practice? Let the golfing professionals at R/CHA add a vintage car/pick up combination to your pad to help with your putting. The integrated Golf Swing Analysis system set up under the hood allows you take a look at your swing, while in the bed there’s a small, yet challenging putting green. Similar to the way an El Camino is comfort in the front and hauling in the back, this El Camino is swinging in the front and putting in the back…just like your ex-wife.Purpose #4: Koi Pondamino
Specifically for the El Camino, R/CHA offers the Koi Pondamino. (only for the El Camino because the name sounds so sweet.) The Chinese are really on to something with Koi ponds. They believe that the Koi bring luck or “Ong” as the Chinese call it. I’m not sure about luck, but I know a vintage El Camino with Koi swimming around in the bed is going to bring you the envy of all of your friends. The integrated filtration and feeding system makes sure that your Koi won’t go belly up and ruin all of your newfound good luck.Well, there it is, my life’s work. I’ll start taking orders as soon as I can get the website and the 800 number up and running. All I need now is a great theme song derived from the greatest El Camino song of all time:
El Camino, El, El Camino
The front looks like a car and the back looks like truck
El Camino, El, El Camino
The front is where you sit and the back is where you F***. (For our purposes we’d take out the expletive and insert: Garden, Hot Tub, Golf or Koi Ponding.)
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