BOOKS: w00t for books

These are potent, perverse times. Times of uncertainty and change. Times of War, Religious Zeal, Economic Turmoil, and Plummeting Intelligence.

It is times like this where one would like to seek comfort in a Beautiful Woman, a Stiff Drink, or perhaps, a Good Book. In these bizarre times that have seen the meteoric rise of the Internet, the Nerd, the Blog, and absurd amounts of technology that would make even George Orwell's head spin, perhaps it is in the simplistic binding of ink, paper, and glue where we can find refuge. Humans continually turn to their culture's traditions and myths for guidance in times of uncertainty. What better time for us to get back to reading?

I'm reading a Good Book now called The Devil's Horn. It's the story of the Saxophone, an instrument that inevitably evokes images and sounds of Sex, Cities, and Cool. About halfway into the book, author Michael Segell mentions an old joke about how a gentlemen is someone who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't.

I was watching Fox News the other day and decided that a Decent Human Being could be defined as someone who could have been a news anchor, but didn't.

Yes. It is a Peculiar Period in Time. Emerging from the Industrial Revolution and two Wars, America has now led the world in the Time of Technology. But will we let the woman who picks our books, pick our president?

Americans are not Readers. We are Doers. And Talkers. We shoot now and ask questions later. But can we maintain such a reckless way of life? "Don't be hasty," Tolkien's Ents warned us. So perhaps it is time for us to pick up those goofy, cumbersome, outdated "apps" we call books and read a few.

The publishing industry has begun perpetrating gimmicks galore, doing what little they can feebly do to goad us into reading. Not that their actions are for the sake of Humanity, but at least their end is noble, if not their means and reasons.

W00T for books!

So don't be so l33t and pick up an old-fashioned book. They go great with an Old Fashioned.

FILM: Vikings + 3D IMAX - $9.50 = Beowulf

I distinctly remember watching Jaws 3 in 3-D two decades ago. I was pumped and ready for a Great White to narrowly miss chomping my face off. Twelve minutes into it, I wanted to throw up, mainly from the terrible 3-D technology, partly because that movie is terrible. Nonetheless, it was the last 3-D movie I've seen, until I cozied up to a little Middle Englishman named Beowulf.

In a word, wow*. I have to give it an asterix, because I think if I saw this in a regular theater (plebs) if wouldn't have been as enjoyable, maybe even mediocre. But you add the revolutionary 3-D image processing that they are capable of doing now, and you get "wow." In my job, I work with an okay amount of digital effects and CG models, blah, blah. This movie left my mouth agape and my buttocks in the seat well into the credits. I was trying to replay moments in my head that were simply unbelievable.

Even things like the camera's position within the digital realm were borderline breakthrough, not your typical Shrek and Pixar placement. It literally puts you in the action without being shoved into action where you can't tell if you're looking at a crotch or a bow and arrow. The animators also totally nailed the particle effects for liquid, snow, etc. There are admittedly some character models that looked weaker than others, I blame Finland.

I digress, because I don't want to take too much away from this experience. And that's really the best word to descrbe it - not a movie, but an experience. That is the beauty of 3-D, putting you somewhat into the action as though it were a live-action diorama, or a theatre spectacle.

I did have a couple of lingering questions:
1.) Should I know who Ray Winstone is? Whoever he is, he must work-out.
2.) Even as a dragon-type succubus, Angelina Jolie still does nothing for me.
3.) Was this the same Beowulf that I could barely read back in 9th grade?

It is the last question that has stuck with me. I wondered if kids are better off being able to see a whiz-bang animated movie of Beowulf, or if they are more enriched by going through the process of reading a book written in Middle English? And would the creation of this movie strike Beowulf from the summer reading list at Piedmont High School, only to be replaced by HP's Chamber of Secrets? I love tech, but there's something to be said to keep a book's interpretation to your own imagination - not a huge, big, beautiful 3-D experience (which I still loved).